What I learned about thriving communities after the Pulse Nightclub massacre and how we can re-create it digitally

For me Orlando was always just where I lived, but when 49 lives were lost at Pulse Nightclub in 2016, Orlando became my community. Orlando is my shoulder to cry on. Orlando pushes me to create a better future for everyone. Orlando taught me that love is so much stronger than hate. Orlando showed me that in a polarized nation, maybe we all aren’t so different after all. Orlando showed me that when we work together, we can prevail.

And that’s what I call a thriving community.

For me community means a group of people who engage and interact with one, support one another through the challenges of life, and are built on a foundation of family and togetherness.

But 2020 is filled with social-distancing guidelines and limited in-person gatherings, so how do we re-create a strong sense of community online?

Step #1: Focus on what keeps your community united, and don’t let them forget it.

Somehow in the turmoil and the polarization of the 2016 election, Orlando was focused on values that keep people together rather than what was dividing the entire nation.

What unites all is our humanity. As Nicholas A. Christakis says, we carry an evolutionary blueprint for making a good society. By focusing on our humanity in Orlando, we were able to create a strong sense of community.

When creating online communities, it is important to focus on creating content that keeps people together, especially if you want large groups of people to have a sense of belonging. People find happiness on being able to share similar experiences or interests with one another.

Step #2 Keep people talking to one another.

One challenge online communities face is keeping the engagement consistent. Participation dies down, and if others don’t respond or communicate with one another it’s easy for people to quickly follow.

So as a founder for an online community, you have to find ways to keep people talking or maybe even dancing.

To keep the momentum alive for what had happened after Pulse the #KeepDancingOrlando was introduced. This was a way to keep people engaged and have fun. Other people started creating their own versions of this video that went viral and was a way to keep people sharing, liking, and commenting.

Step#3 Online communities need to be a place for people to help one another.

After Pulse, thousands of people lined up to donate blood, over 150,000 donated money to charities that help the victims. It was absolutely astonishing to see a whole city, quickly get out of bed the day after the shooting to go out and help people.

Successful communities give people a way to help one another. Helping people is something that unites us, and also helps keep the community engaged by giving everyone a purpose and reason to be constantly engaged.

Fabian Pfortmüller discusses how an important essential quality for successful groups is the shift from me to we behavior. A newcomer to a group will come with a strong sense of their own personal identity and tend to be more selfish, but over time should shift to a we behavior where they feel safe sharing with others and will want to help others even if they do not get something out of it.

We are witnessing this shift in behavior right now, as COVID-19 makes life more challenging for all of us. For example, one man in the UK took it upon himself to help those most in need by founding Isolation Help Bexley, a chat on WhatsApp where vulnerable groups of people in Bexley can seek help. This group has not only helped so many people, but has created friendships outside of the group as well.

Potential challenges and how to overcome them

Building a successful online community is no easy task.

One of the many challenges, is keeping the momentum alive. Just because Pulse was no longer talked about in the news, people didn’t stop caring. For the past 4 years, I almost always see at least one person outside of the nightclub leaving flowers or a message.

Keeping the sense of togetherness alive is absolutely crucial. It’s easy once a tragedy is forgotten about and when there no longer as many events for people to not want to interact, but COVID-19 has shown us how to constantly hold a strong bond outside of the real world. Host watch parties, virtual happy hours, ask questions, hold a virtual class. Activities as simple as these ones let’s everyone participate and help keeps the group bond alive. Stephanie Baiocchi says that successful online communities have bonds that live both online and in the real world. Online groups that are truly successful have people who form strong friendships with others from the group.

Another challenge is safety. It feels hard to say what you want online without receiving some backlash, especially with almost everything being politicized these days. While groups should focus on what unites them, people should also feel free to be themselves. This is where group moderators play a huge role in the success of the group. Moderators need to find a balance between not censoring what others say, but also making sure no person feels attacked in a group.

With these steps and challenges in mind, online communities can thrive and have the potential to positively impact people’s lives.